If you don’t get the title. I’ll explain it later.

I had a holy shit light bulb moment this past weekend. Princess went to a cheer camp at the local high school Saturday morning. I walked her in, paid the registration fee and she took off like a shot running hand in hand with a ‘real cheerleader’ towards the gym.

No backwards glance, No hesitation.
I blinked, and she was gone.

That’s my girl. Head first into every situation with no fear at all.
I admire the crap outta that kid.

2 hours later I came back to pick her up and as I walked into this gym filled with teenagers and pre-teens and a small group of younger kids, something struck me.
That’s not me anymore.
I’m not the one trying out, or dancing, or cheering in the group. I looked at all of those fresh eager young faces and realized with a jolt that I’m the mom.

I’m a mom.

I know that I’m a mom, but it’s still strange to realize that when other people see me, they don’t see ‘Rachel’ they see Princess and Monkey’s mom.

They don’t look at me and see a peer, they look at me and see a mom.

Am I the only one who sometimes feels like I’m playing house or playing mom, that the real parents are going to come home and pay me for babysitting and then tell me to go home.
I can’t really be a mom. I mean, I know I’m 30 and I’m allegedly an adult, but I’m not really. I still feel like a kid.

It was a very bizarre situation to have teenagers one one side of the gym and Moms on the other and realize that I belonged on the mom side.

Please tell me this isn’t just me.

Okay, I’m done rambling. Thanks for going along on this ride with me.

Princess has one more cheer camp practice tonight and then she’s performing at the end of half-time at the football game friday night.

You better believe the camera will be charged, the pride will be overwhelming and yet at the same time I feel a bit melancholy.

My little girl is growing up and moving on. Today she’s 4 and playing at cheerleading, but in the blink of my teary blue eyes she’ll be 14 and it’ll be for real.

*sigh*

Back to the title.
Princess’ favorite cheer is:

Firecracker, Firecracker Boom Boom Boom
Firecracker Firecracker Boom Boom Boom
The boys got the muscles
The teachers got the brains
The girls got the sexy legs
and we won the game.

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39 Comments

  1. I soooo get this post! When did I become the adult? I don’t feel like a grown up…Cute pic. of the Princess:)

  2. Hi!!
    New to the blog world.
    Just found your site today and have really enjoyed ready it.
    I hear myself in some of the things that you write.
    This post is something that I understand more than you know…
    I look at my 13 yr. old and wonder where the time went, when did she grow up??
    A blog about her is coming soon.

    By the way, love your pictures too!

  3. I refuse to grow up!

    I can’t believe how much she’s grown…cheer camp? *faints* You guys have done a wonderful job. Both of them are gorgeous ;o) Just wait until they start school.

  4. Um, you are definitely not the only one who occasionally looks around and shrieks, “OHMYGOD, who put these kids here and why are they calling me ‘mama’?!”

  5. OK, I am the father of the mother of princess and as far as I am concerned I belong on the side of the room with the kids. I’ll be an adult when I grow up and decide what I want to be. So there…blatttttttt

  6. LOL!!

    Dad, I love you, and you’re right… you definitely belong on the side with the kids.
    I do too, even if the kids don’t think so πŸ™‚

    Love you!!

  7. Great great post!!! Really…

    But um, “the girls got the sexy legs”? Ooooookkkkk. Not touching it. Not gonna do it.

  8. OMG I could be totally writing this! πŸ™‚ I am a former cheerleader too and it’s so bizare not being out there cheering. Totally can relate! πŸ™‚

  9. Ahh, the epiphany. I had mine while jamming on the kiddo’s play piano. And, I always feel like I’m playing.

  10. I hear you! I always expected I’d FEEL grown up by the time I was 30, and here I sit, feeling the same as always. LOL

    And oh lordy, lordy, do I stress over how quickly Emily will be 14. She thinks she is already! ha!

  11. I feel like I am playing house everyday. I pretty much AM though, staying home and all.

    KEEP BELIEVING

  12. Oh yeah. I am with ya. I just wrote a post about this last week. I went to my old high school to watch the homecoming football game and to watch my niece cheer. And instead of sitting in the stands with my girlfriends checking out all the guys I was sitting in the bleachers with my HUSBAND and 3 BOYS watching my niece cheer the same cheers I did 15 years ago. WTH????
    Sometimes it feels like I’m in the Twilight Zone. And I know it doesn’t get any better. My mom always says she feels like she should be my age!
    Life goes so quickly.
    *sigh*

  13. O.M.G…..She so big! *pout* Our little girl is growing up….

    Yea, I hear ya on the mom thing…. Now I’m on the sidelines watching my boys play soccer instead of watching my boyfriend…LOL

  14. You are NOT the only one! It’s such a weird feeling! I have it less now that I’m old, but when I had my first child I was young, 22, and looked as well as still felt like one of the kids. It was odd for my daughter to be doing things I remembered doing so clearly!

    The other day one of Shark’s friends saw me at school and said “Hi Mrs. Smith!” and I realized that it didn’t seem odd anymore. (bummer)

    I love that your dad commented on your blog. That’s awesome.

  15. It’s a weird feeling isn’t it? It struck me the other day that I am older than my mother was when I was in kindergarten. That woman from my first memories was younger than I am now. So strange!

  16. I totally agree… I always feel too young to be the mommy.

    My aha moment was at the pool last summer. I was sitting in the baby pool with the other MOMs and I was watching the teenagers and thinking maybe I could go hang with them… Then I remembered I wouldn’t really fit in in my mumu with a nursing baby attached! Oh the horror! I am OLD!

  17. I feel you (no no no I’m not referring to your tatas post!). My biggest adjustment when I am watching Fury do his thing is really accepting the mantra “it’s no longer about me.” And that picture is overly cute, btw.

  18. And now you understand my dilemma with being the parent of a teenager. It still feels sometimes like I should be the one having the inane conversations over nothing…

    Oh wait.. I still do that. πŸ™‚

  19. Oh yeah, it hit a while back. But I just don’t feel 37..at all…it’s a hard realization that life is slipping away.

  20. You’re not the only one!

    I often wonder when we go places “Do the people here look at me and think I’m these kids’ Mom? or do they think I must be their sister??”

    I’m sure they think “Mom”, but it seems strange to me!!

  21. Oh, you mean instead of them asking “Do you have kids?” they ask “How many kids do you have?”

    ENTIRELY DIFFERENT QUESTION JERKOFF.

  22. I always thought I was the only one waiting on the parents to get home and pay me for my time. Sometimes the feeling is stronger now than it was the first few weeks home from the hospital with the oldest. Kindergarten, girlfriends, opinions and emotions….Gee, I can’t wait for senior year.

  23. Completely with ya on this one! I had a similar moment when my daughter started kindergarten this year. When I looked over at this year’s group of teachers, I realized that I could have probably babysat for a majority of them in the not-so-distant past. I was the “elder” in their eyes. Weird. I wonder if I’ll ever feel officially “grown up.” πŸ™‚

  24. What a great picture. And, I totally get the mom side vs the kid thing. It’s all about what you feel, right?

  25. She is so so cute. I totally understand where you are coming from. I am almost 40 and I STILL don’t feel like I know what I am doing most of the time.

    p.s. Go Princess!!!!! Aren’t you glad (although it can be a little scary) that she is not intimidated by the big kids?

  26. oh my goodness.

    yeah, i have to sit on the mom side. in fact, i have to sit on the OLD mom side. while you watch princess cheering at 4, i watch the roo-girl cheering at 14.

    and i have no idea where the past 10 years went.

  27. Oh honey, this is not just you. I promise. My younger sister is in drill team (and 10 years younger than me) and she thinks of me as OLD! I go to the games and I’m just kind of nostalgic and left wondering what happened. I’m the girl with the baby on her hip now. I’m the mom.

  28. Nope, you’re not the only one. I try not to think about it, it makes me sad to think I’m not young enough to hang out with the teens on Degrassi anymore; I’d be a parent on the show..

    You have cheer camp for little ones??? I would love to get Melo into one! How cool!

  29. It’s even more fun when your kid is 21 and wants to be your FRIEND. Bwaahaahaahaaa! I think I’m in my second childhood.

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